THE FEARS OF A FISH & CHIPS BLOGGER
From outside it looks like I’m living the MARINE DREAM with free Fish & Chips and ‘Solebrity’ status in Glasgow… but in reality I feel that the CHIP IS ABOUT TO HIT THE PAN.
A week ago a guy came up to me in Sub Club and just yelled ‘OH MA COD!’ in my face over and over again, whenever I get a Facebook notification it is someone giving me a recommendation and all people ever talk to me about is Fish & Chips! What about who I truly am? (World champion at Mario Kart Double Dash on Gamecube.)
While I used to go on the internet and search for things like ‘Lindsay Lohan Nose Job’ now I want to know as much as I can about Fish & Chips. I used to watch Limmy; now I look up how to make the perfect Fish & Chips – when I did try and make them it didn’t go so well. I walked past the fishmonger on Great Western Road and couldn’t stop myself walking in and asking ‘Dave’ about different kinds of fish. CATFISH IS THE NEXT BIG FIN apparently. I was craving some sugar and in my head I thought, ‘I wonder where I can get some fizzy fish and fizzy chips’ (if anyone knows please tell me.) Whenever I eat out I feel guilty if I don’t get Fish & Chips. EVEN IN MCDONALDS! I ordered a Filet-O-Fish and the dude at the counter actually laughed.
Do I need to talk to ‘Fishy Frank?’
Whilst watching ‘Supersize Me’ the other day something dawned on me. What if I end
up dying because of this? On my gravestone it will say ‘Much Fished.’
Honestly though? In terms of people calling me ‘Fish & Chips girl’ and the fact I will never look like Ciara did in the video for ‘Ride’ – I DON’T GIVE A CHIP! My love for Fish & Chips is so strong that none of this matters. If you’ve just read this it was a complete waste of time. WHAT A LOAD OF CRAB.
Text: Amelia Bayler
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